Monthly Archives: December 2016

Derek shook

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Submitted by: Regina Salem (mom)
Born: 1992
Died: 2015
My Tribute: It has been almost 15 months sense Derek left for his new journey. I have learned in these months, you are born, you die, and you live. Heaven's journey has got to be amazing, even though you left us

Shaq Elmes Torrella

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Submitted by: Peta Elmes / Mother
Born: 1993
Died: 2016
My Tribute: Shaq you will be in our hearts and minds forever as the sweet, funny, bright, kind, loving son with a twinkle in your eye. A son who could have done anything he set his mind to do , skiing from the age of 4 and golf at age 5, you excelled at both sports and received many awards over the years. In your last year before you passed from this earth you found your passion in the Arts, Photography and Graphic design. You were our only child we celebrate your life and we loved you unconditionally. We will carry on and take into our lives your passions in life, and the kindness and help you showed to others for the rest of our days. You may be gone but never forgotten by your family and friends who loved you so very much.

Patrick M.Flaherty

Submitted by: Mom
Born: 1993
Died: 2016
My Tribute: My precious, kind, smart, beautiful boy...if love could have saved you, you would have lived forever....and in my heart and soul, you do Patrick, my only child, my son....

Ryan Frye

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Submitted by: Jeanne (Mom)
Born: 1984
Died: 2015
My Tribute: MY HOLIDAY MESSAGE TO ALL:
A few days ago, on a chilly morning in October, I woke up and was amazed to see the change in leaves had arrived. Overnight, the world had gone from green to brown, to just a touch of gold, and red. Squirrels were busy gathering nuts. Geese were flying over our house, honking loudly as they made their way south. It was beautiful! Later that day, I heard someone in my home actually humming! How dare they!

But . . . I was alone. It was me. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Suddenly, it hit me. And no matter how guilty I feel in acknowledging it, I have to tell you. I am looking forward to the holidays. Oh . . . my . . . goodness! How can this be? Why is this happening?

Well, after much pondering and prayer, I think I know why. I was focused on the black and white, on the physical, on that which can be seen and physically felt. The first year was spent looking through a lens that was distorted and scarred by an intense, physical and overwhelming grief. Oh, how I miss my son!

I had focused on what was missing rather than on what was still here. The missing is still missing and it always will be! But those still here deserve more of what is left of me. Yes, I think I get it!!

I feel I’ve learned how to not only endure—but to enjoy—a memory that can only be defined as bittersweet. I’ve come to appreciate that feeling emotional is really about feeling impassioned and alive. I grieve deeply because I loved Ryan so very, very much. What a special person Ryan really was! So many people really cared about him. Oh, to be so loved!! And it is ok, really, that is why waterproof mascara really exists! And I think this year, as the songs start to play on the radio and the cards begin filling the mailbox, I will choose a different lens. I will choose a lens that captures that which we cannot see or physically touch, but that we know is there, just the same. A lens that goes beyond the black and white. I will choose to see color!

I will hang Ryan’s stocking beside ours, buy gifts in his name, play Santa for my granddaughter Lottie, light candles in his memory, and put a small holiday tree by his memorial, out under the big oak tree on our farm in Tennessee. But this year, I hope to do these things with joy rather than with bitterness and sorrow. This year, I want to grasp the hand of a homeless mother, and kiss the cheek of a newborn baby. I will go the mall to watch Santa as he holds wiggly, crying toddlers on his lap. I will dive around to view the Christmas decorations. I want to sing “Silent Night” on a clear, cold night in mid-December when it feels as if the entire world is sleeping. I want to feel the Christmas again that we cannot see. It is about hope and faith and love.

This year, I want to remember who I really am. I want to make Ryan and his little brother, Joe proud of me. I want them to know there is a strength that comes from prayer and peaceful introspection. So, to my friends and family, please, don’t ever be afraid to say his name! Ryan lived a full life in a short amount of time. He truly had no enemies. His life had purpose. He was dearly loved and is truly missed! He is both under my oak tree and traveling the open sea! How he would love both of those ideas!! I want to enjoy the months and years ahead. Not because I need to or because someone says it’s time to—but because—well, because I can. I can choose it. This year, I want to find the magic before it is time to put away the boxes. And I won’t stop searching until I find it. I choose to believe. So, let the tears fall from time to time, but with God’s good grace, I will choose to believe in seeing the color again. I know it is there, waiting for me. After all, it is what Ryan would want for me, of that I am very sure. Merry Christmas to all of us left behind. Love each other. Hug each other and most of all....forgive each other. Everyday!
Always and forever Ryan P Frye's Mom
Ryan P Frye@virtual memorials Stop by and say "hello"

Andrew McClean

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Submitted by: Jean and John
Born: 7/91
Died: 6/16
My Tribute: No words could adequately express how hard it was to lose you. While you were battling the disease, we had hope. You were a joyful, loyal, affectionate and caring son. You had a big heart. The multitude of friends you left behind feel the same. Now the angels are seeing you smile and we are left with heartache. Save a place for us Andrew, until we meet you in heaven. We love you endlessly and faithfully, Mom and Dad

Evan Harlan


Submitted by: Beverly (mom)
Born: 1986
Died: 2016
My Tribute: To my dearest Evan, we miss you more than words can ever express. You are the light of our lives, you are an amazing son, a devoted and loyal friend. You are a true scholar who always had a thirst for knowledge. We know that you are still with us, and that you are there for all those who love you very much. You made a difference in so many people's lives, that's more than most people can say in a lifetime, and you crammed it all in to a far too brief 29 years. We love you our dear, dear son.
Mom and Dad