Source: Lupine Music
I was reading some old journal entries tonight, from just about a year after Jamie died. As i read, at first i found it a little disheartening to realize that things really aren’t so radically changed – at least, i think i was hoping that by now, the grieving process would have changed in some significant way. I already know that i’ve changed. Changed irrevocably. And i continue to change as i evolve to fit my conception of my life now that my son is gone. But i thought perhaps that i’d have made my way out of the labyrinth that is Grieving by now, and would have progressed, “graduated”, maybe, onto the Healing part.
But what i’m starting to see is that the labyrinth never ends – it just takes you down new paths. And if you do the unspeakably difficult work of going through the grief, as it comes up, again and again, then the healing slowly begins to take place.
It just takes place alongside the grief.
I am still taking wrong turns, meeting demons, finding my path again, and conquering said demons – and i do it over and over again.
This is grieving.
Hell, maybe this is LIFE.