Submitted by: Karmen Cance, (mom)
My Tribute: My son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2009. Before that he was intelligent, athletic, fun, very loving, humble, kind, giving, hard working and always helping someone in need. After rehab, because of drinking, he was clean and sober for three years, but took a lot of medications. In 2012 he met an older woman of who was an addict, of which is when the drinking started again, while on those medications. He started going into psychotic episodes, both drinking and doing prescription medications. She would constantly call the police on him, so he was in and out of jail, and we had him in and out of rehab. One of the last rehabs, he admitted to us trying crack and smoking heroin, but said he hated the feeling and would never do it again.I worked hard for 4 years trying to him the help he needed and to get him away from her. Each time he was done with her, she would pull him back into her life again. We moved across the state, back to west Michigan, to get him out of the Flint area. There is very minimal help for those with bipolar with addiction problems. The system just doesn’t care. The answer is to just throw them in jail. He moved back home with us and started drinking a lot again. I was constantly checking his room for anything and everything, never any indications of heroin. He would go some weekends to visit her, she was relentless and he was gullible to her deceit. It was getting so bad, and I was getting tired. The last time he left to go to Flint in Feb. 19, 2016, he gave me a big kiss and hug and said how much he loved me, never to see him alive again. He had lost his job, was extremely depressed, and thought he was a disappointment. I wish I would of some how stopped him. I talked with him on the 22nd and he was out of money, couldn’t come home until he received his last check. On the 24th he received his last check and income tax. But didn’t come home. My husband talked with hm on the 27th, he seemed fine, was getting his oil changed. Seen he posted on Facebook on the 28th, feeling anxious, need to get fresh air, relaxing Sunday. Then on the 29th, no phone or Facebook activity. I had a terrible feeling about that, and on March 1st, both my husband and I tried to contact him, went right to voice mail. After relentlessly trying to contact him, we got a phone call at 10:20 pm. Saying he had died, 16 hours after his death. They said there was a needle on the floor but was under investigation because her son had died in Dec. of the same cause. They said there was no indication that he was a user and probably a one time thing. Since his death, the Flint Police will not return my phone calls if it’s still under investigation, found out that she had performed CPR on him early in the morning without calling 911 and went to work because he was breathing again. Returned home a 1/2 hour to find him gone. It took 7 months to get his autopsy and death certificate stating he died of mixed drug toxicity, heroin. The medical examiner won’t talk with me, I’ve asked for the medical report several times with no response. Timelines don’t add up, he tried it years ago, but did not do heroin. Alcohol was his drug of choice. Yet no alcohol in his system. Over 1200.00 dollars spent in 4 days, don’t know if he did it to himself, because of how his life was to him or if it was done to him. I sit here everyday just thinking, and trying to wrap my brain around what has happened, why I’m not getting any answers, or if the Flint Police are just dismissing it because he had a record and it was heroin. The pain inside of myself is so intense, I break down everyday. We were so close, he was my beautiful baby boy. I keep asking why? I prayed all the time for the lord to help him, but instead took him from me. Is it so selfish to want some answers and my son back? He was just 29, and we had 25 great years with him. What happened? What went wrong? Why? Was it foul play? Could he of been saved if she would if called 911 instead of going to work? Where do I go from here? I’m so beside myself, but what gives me solace is that I do feel and have experienced his spirit here and it seems to be so calm. But I still need answers if not for him, for me and my sanity. I loved him with all of my heart and soul, and just want to hold him one more time. It’s still so new, and the first anniversary of his death is coming up with, still, no response from the Police or Medical examiner. How do you cope and go on? Love and Miss you son…..A piece of my heart is in heaven.